Morning PagesJanuary 11, 2015

Intertwined = interconnected

We are not separate particles ping-ponging across the universe, but interwoven fabric that can never truly be divided into strands for the further in you go, the finer the material until all you have is light (and then energy which is all we are – excitations of a field, of a collection of fields that exist simultaneously and somehow manifest as patterns that appear whole and complete in every moment if only you could see them from a particular angle; an angle forever shifting and inviting us to surrender to the beauty of all that is).

Between home and work it is not work that tortures us or home that comforts us. We imagine a transition – a space ripping us from somewhere warm and enticing, and delivering us into the unpleasant. But in fact there is no transition.

We are always where we find ourselves, and more than that we are always where we need to be.

What did Buddha say about happiness? That the key to happiness is to want what you have, not what you don’t have. “But if I already had what I wanted, then what would I go for? What would motivate me and drive my decisions?”

I have had this conversation with clients over and over again. This need for a goal or outcome is the tag that tells us we must be invested for some reason. It is the flag that designates our camp as better or at least distinct from the next camp. It is the reward of certainty that gives us permission to define our experience as unsatisfactory.

What happens when we simply surrender to the truth that we don’t have access to all the information. As spiritual beings having a human experience we have access to exactly what we need so we can be who we are. We can glimpse the truth from time to time – in surrender. But otherwise with our perceptual biases and invisible cultural norms, it is impossible to see what’s going on from a place of Divine reason.

This is what makes life unreasonable – not being able to see the reason.

As we have an experience of Oneness, of calm interconnection and then move back into our schedule wondering how to maintain that sense of surrender, life flips between knowing there’s a reason and wanting the world to be reasonable. The residue of calm interconnection will only last so long before the world loses its sheen and begins to get scratchy again…unless we have a way to LIVE in surrender. Otherwise we have to make time for regular meditation and any practices that help us get back that surrender feeling (for a time).

So, how can we live in surrender? And in surrender to what exactly?

In surrender to interconnection; to Divine Timing; to your Divine Identity; to intuitive guidance; to reading experience as a conversation with the cosmos; to redefining every moment until the story neither right, wrong nor incomplete.

For more click here…



Morning PagesSeptember 17, 2014

How does this serve you?

Last week I was instructed to write about the nature of service. I left it to focus on other stuff and then talking to a friend yesterday it came up again. “How can I serve others because I know when I’m serving others I am also serving myself” and I realised the ‘service’ thing needs to be addressed.

Service is big. One of those popular ideas we can all grasp that is designed to give us a sense of altruism and purpose. It’s like picking a ‘caring’ profession without actually doing the hands-on work. But how do you understand the nature of serving others?

I’m curious because I think the idea gets tangled in the language of exchange just like giving. See, if you give someone a present and expect gratitude then you’re not giving anything. You’re conducting a trade. To give is to be separate.

When you give, you believe there is an exchange of value. Something you have is transferred to someone who does not have. This someone is outside of you and the thing you transfer is yours to give. This makes you separate. When you believe that everything is energy, that you are energy, that life is an expression of the Infinite, then you know there is no exchange. There is only presence and experience and embodied consciousness.

The dance of energy is a constantly moving experience of this moment. There is no fixed address from which to give and take. You work to earn money to buy stuff that you own and choose to share in the language of exchange. From Oneness there is the experience of this moment with the props of life that enable you to have a stand point from within a living culture that is also constantly moving and in a dance where there is no fixed address from which to state one aspect is influencing another. The whole as aspects is dancing into new forms, new configurations of experience.

EE 2014 - rosezombie image

The whole on all levels – cell, organ, system, body, household, family, community – are all arbitrary labels that hold no real separation fro each is permeable and culturally constructed. The only whole that you can know is All That Is which does not exist in linear time-space so it’s not quantifiable in that sense. And if the only whole that you can know is not quantifiable then what is it?

How can you know where your senses start and end? How can you know where your soul connects to the Infinite? How can you know who is serving whom when there is no separation?

It’s this last question that I’m really curious about. For me the only sense of service is “how does this moment serve me?” Not as a future consequence or a lesson or a reward but right now. How does this headache, this student, this cold morning serve me?


I know you are used to seeing symptoms as signs of something you’re not paying attention to or of ways to be kinder to yourself but I’m going to tell you something about the new way of operating on the planet that does not make you wrong. A way that does not make you wait or leave you wondering how you need to bolster your self-esteem in order to get what you want is called Oneness.

There are definitely some changes to the system you’re used to. No more drive-thru lifestyle orders. No more enlightenment or levelling up. This Oneness stuff is pretty radical. There’s not even any right or wrong. Best of all, it’s not a convincing thing. You don’t have to believe it!

If you start reading and realise that you know what you believe (and it’s not Oneness) then go for it! Do that, have that, be that! Stop trying to follow other people’s instructions and stand in your own sense of what works. If that’s service as exchange, then that’s what it is.

But if you’re drawn to Oneness and know somewhere inside that it’s actually the thing that you’ve been believing all along (even though you followed other ideas along the way) then give yourself a chance to know service in a new way.

Service from Oneness

Focus is important. You have heard the spiel about intention, right? Well, intention is basically what you are intent or focused upon (not what you believe is going to happen or what you want to happen as a consequence of doing something imbued with the energy of your ‘intention’).

Wherever you are right now, you are focused on something. It could be the thing you want to learn, the fact you don’t know yet, the to-do list that keeps you ticking boxes so you can deserve to feel accomplished or worthy of whatever you are otherwise denying yourself.

What are you focused on?

How does that serve you? How does looking at the world the way you do right now, serve you? How does it get you what you want? Because somewhere that’s exactly what it’s doing. Your focus, your opinion about what’s going on, about what’s important in this moment is serving you by getting you what you want.

What you want is not what you wish for. What you want is to feel safe in a world that recognises you as a gift and values who you are (not what you do). You want this in the only way you know how to make this true. Money makes you feel safe so you focus on that. Big strong violent people make you feel safe so you focus on that. Being invisible makes you feel safe so you focus on that. Being vulnerable and needy makes you feel safe so you focus on that.

There are no rules that say you want happiness as a function of happy experiences. Most people focus on what gives them a sense of control. Making judgements on other people and being in a position of powerlessness where life is happening to you, is a comfortable control space. Your boss, the government, big corporations, the other drivers, the local council, idiots in general, are all given the power to decide how you feel. You want to know there is a reason, you want to know life makes sense, so you make up a story about how all of these things influence who you are and how you navigate the world.

“I can’t do xyz because …” is just one example. “I wish I had more xyz so I could …” is another. “If only that [person, job, car, system] would be more/less xyz, then my life would be …” is probably the most commonly used. It’s all about other people needing to change or other systems or objects needing to be different. What if nothing had to be different?

What if “how does this serve me?” replaced all of those pondering notions of control, so that you could focus on this moment as life happening for you?

ID 118508462 © Ekaterina Gerasimova |

Morning PagesJuly 15, 2014

The Message

“Good morning!” Except there’s no good, so we say Aloha instead. Fabulous 🙂

The sun is still nuzzling in bed so we can start streaming out consciousness before all the bodies, flesh and mind, thoughts unkind, with acts to unwind begin telling stories of dread. A space to thrill, satisfactions’ still and demanding pouting pose. From here to there with style and flare the master orders “Action!” With a crack of the whip and Tequila sip her image, belief and reaction determine the path of the energy bath we live in but see somehow separate. So I do what I’m told neither humble nor bold each moment in light of the present that gives me a thrill through parcel or bill, regardless I see the reflection of a message so grand it shines like a band of gold from a plane where love is the land, the lore, the plan, the reason, the end, and inflection of a language (un)bound by concepts unsound on a planet restoring its song. Blessed be one. Daughters and sons, gifts of the ‘now’ you belong…

And I ponder the Perfect Present program we spent most of yesterday writing an invitation to attend for. I breathe deep sigh-full questions for clarity around where to push, what to ‘teach’, and what to surrender. For me, it is a simple matter of doing what I have always done. To show somebody else how to find their way, how to be effortless, has been a one-on-one natural part of my life. And now, as I am asked to step onto a ‘stage’ of sorts, I find myself the reluctant and irreverent instrument of a new song (I was going to say ‘messiah’ but it’s not about saving anyone, it’s about bringing in information). There are so many people who would love to be in this position, who would relish in the potential glory. But I am not one of them.

“Please don’t make me the leader!” I hear myself say, and know instantly this is the truth knocking loudly on my door. I know instantly because the reaction itself tells me to listen. So, I listen. And when I leave a gap, the message is clear that I am exactly where I need to be, that I am the messenger, and this is what I am here to do. This is my job. Another sigh-full question for clarity around how to navigate delivering a message without ‘telling’ people what to do, without becoming yet another prescription. Another answer. Stay in your heart space. Stay in that energy of truth and you will always be doing what you need to be doing. Come back to that frequency expansive, whenever things become clouded and you will embody the reassurance you need to be in this moment regardless of the circumstance. So, I leave a gap and surrender (because I can do nothing else).

I surrender because I know the wisdom of these insights are greater than my pleas for comfort or logic or control. I surrender as the Pathfinder of Oneness who has a job in this moment (to surrender) and then stay ‘here’ to do my job – because my job is not a potential future tied to some notion of what a messenger will be doing or might encounter, my job is to be here surrendering to the truth that ‘I am a messenger’ and this is exactly where I need to be. My job is not to hold a vision of my ‘impact’, or to ponder the journey ahead, or to assess the value of what I might or might not do. My job is to be here in my truth, surrendering to this moment.

It’s still dark. Their is a sense that life is warming up again, that soon children will stir from their slumber dizzy from magical dreamscapes. The first car. No birds as yet. Just inky black winter still, beginning to thin and finally burst into the next fractal of existence. Glorious awareness expanding and contracting and contorting as the energy builds, and I tap into a busy ocean of life. Then I become the energetic embodiment of an incessantly moving mother with hands forever wiping noses, packing lunches, putting things back into place. Without ever having been a parent it seems I play that role for all the children on the planet, in the soul level playground – and we are all children of the universe (no matter how old).

Love & Mung Beans people 🙂