Morning PagesDecember 22, 2014

On the Gentle Cycle

We all live in constant flux. Sometimes we can perceive the pattern of change and that makes it easier to surrender. Other times our desire to know gets in the way. The desire to be in control simply by knowing what to expect or why life unfolds the way it does, these are personal and intimate conversations. Where am I now and how did I get here?

Imperceptible change, that subtle difference that seems to sneak up and grow louder unbeknownst to us until we catch ourselves in reflection – this too is a personal and intimate conversation. Who do we think we are and where did this new self come from?

Sometimes we are asked to do something unexpected, to say something out of character, or to be with a situation in a new way. These experiments open us up to a possibility that the same old script would have us overlook. As we are remade in each moment, dancing with our purpose and presence, there are numerous invitations into this unknown space. How we approach them is an art. The feeling of no longer being the expert or of being open to a new ontology is more than humbling. It is the kind of honesty that explorers and leaders and oracles must embrace if they value their adventure more than any fixed illusion.

Recently a dear friend indulged me in a Joyful Hearts Angel Healing. At first neither of us knew what was expected, so we surrendered to our respected positions and listened. I was given a great many images and messages – a big tall strong tree totem, a series of endings, and magnificent visuals of myself as a book that stretches out forever on either side the pages fluttering like fronded leaves or wings. Annie, my Angel Healer, received a single beautiful image – a snail.

I am a snail!

A snail is always home. They are connected to the Earth, sensing their world through touch, and leaving a glorious silver trail wherever they go. In my case this silver trail is a symbol of what I weave through the various places I have been and lives I have touched. It is a most assuring image.

To feel the world is part of my journey. It is an integral aspect of how I know this moment – not as a means to an end but as a sense among many. To embrace this sense is to know where I am. To celebrate this feeling is to know who I am. And to see it as a blessing is to see where else I get to play.

Sometimes we feel to push or protest like a child anchored to the ground when we find ourselves made in a particular way. It feels as if we have found a box to escape or a curse to untangle. But what if that sense of what makes us uniquely designed for our purpose on this plane is not a curse? What if that immediately immutable is an invitation to play in other areas?

Whatever we think is unchanging about ourselves is always moving. Even if one aspect stays with us our entire lifetime, it is remade in every moment. Rarely does such a thing occur. Most of us will have immutable aspect for a series of moments, until we don’t. They stay with us for as long as we need them then they meld into new gifts of perception and persona.

When you find an immutable aspect, how can you celebrate it? How can you trust that this is perfect and divinely guided? Then, when you have had your tantrum, released the need for control, and finally exhaled all your fight – how can you inhale the joy of being who you are?

This joy is more than simply ‘knowing’ and accepting. It is a celebration!

If I must feel, then this is a sacred part of my experience never to be chided or the object of my regret. If I must feel, then where else do I get to play? What other choices do I have about how the world works? Which areas are open to interpretation and malleable to the warmth of my heart?

This is my focus. To see the places I get to play and celebrate the aspects that make me fabulous. Today I choose to write before intake of anyone else’s ideas. Today I choose to wear the textures my snail self enjoys. Today I choose to sing my way through life; to follow my fascination and sit quietly with the world as I lean in to feel it’s holiness.

What will you do?

What are you doing?

How can you know yourself as sacredly designed?

When do you give yourself the chance to exhale your protest so that the inhale of celebration can take place?

Who will you be when you no longer cling to life as a fixed address?

Morning PagesAugust 29, 2014

Reification in the Language of Exchange (part one)

Symbols of wellness are not quite the same as wellness itself. I think we used to look for symbols of what we want and managed to manifest these believing they would somehow bring about a new way of being on the planet. If we brought in a community living in harmony this would spread a virus of peace and cooperation beyond the bounds of our commune, and yet to INTEND such and INFLUENCE or to FOCUS on the EFFECT is to abandon the experience itself.

Symbols of love as consequences are not quite the same as love itself. When you seek to bring about the conditions of love by manifesting a relationship you give the relationship more life than the experience of love. It’s called reification in some circles, the idea of a living ‘thing’ you place outside of yourself as a separate entity to your embodied experience.

This reification is either an ideal or a picture of what usually happens. It keeps you from being in the actual relationship with a person who changes from millisecond to millisecond, just as everything else in the universe does. It feeds some strange cloud of illusion about what is going on and what is meant to be going on, and it takes responsibility away from the individual having the experience.

I say this because of a conversation I had yesterday about RESPONSIBILITY and being in the experience of All That Is (rather than reifying this experience as a relationship with something or someone outside yourself). It’s interesting it comes up today as I sit and ponder the nature of HEALING and what it is I’m here to do. It’s interesting firstly because I believe that life is not an exchange and we are all energy, and secondly because a recording came to me from an energy worker who uses Sacred Geometry to heal water that subsequently heals the body and I’m tuned to the possibility of truth for all things knowing simultaneously that life is not an exchange and we are all energy.

How do you know all things to be true even when they appear to conflict? When you ascribe to the four truths.

I’m not sure if I’ve written about it before and Louise is rushing me off the computer so we can have an early morning meeting with the beautiful Ann White from CCN (where we broadcast our TV show) so perhaps I’m going to stop there and leave this to percolate…