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Morning PagesAugust 09, 2014


I remember learning about food preferences by watching the people around me. They liked some foods more than others when I saw flavour as a rainbow of experiences. I just figured it was something I had to learn like ‘snakes are dangerous’ so I tried to have preferences.

For me, flavour is not the issue. Flavour is just a point on a spectrum with a particular combination of sweet, sour, bitter, salty, and savoury. I also tune to texture and temperature, as well as fat and mineral content which seem inseparable from flavour to me. Anyway, the point is that my innate preferences were never about flavour or desiring this food more than that. My relationship with food is intuitive and emotional.

As an adult I see particular foods and know the love of my father or the confusion of my parent’s divorce. When I eat, I taste the fat, minerals (including metals), and acidity but I experience more than taste. Food is a valuable indicator of what’s going on. Craving cucumber is no different to craving fried chicken if you understand the nature of wanting as different to flavour profile and distinct still from the intuitive digestion experience.

I know how to decode my own desire and preferences at each stage. Craving something is often about preparation whether it’s a menstrual cycle or a new work project. Flavours are a conversation with my body about what I need. And the digestion of food is a great long review of everything playing out in the moment asking me to listen deeply.

Right now my body is asking me to eat particular foods as it has always done. The requests change for each scenario but the fact that I am in constant communication does not. When I detour from the menu there is no punishment or consequences as such, I simply transfer that ‘need’ to another form of energy just as you do.

When your needs are unmet in one area they will flow into another and be recognised in a different form. There is no getting around the fact that energy is irrepressible. You cannot stop it or block it or change it, you can only acknowledge it from here or from there. Either way only your experience of it is altered, only the story you tell about it is different. You have preferences based on flavour or you have preferences based on the deep listening of being present. This is your choice.

Although I learnt to play the game of food preferences to some extent, the language of energy never left my conscious awareness. They are not competing ideologies. The language of energy is a way of thinking and being and knowing and making sense of your experience as a gift with a meaningful job, whereas the concept of preference as like and dislike is part of the language of exchange (which makes sense of the world in terms of separate parts interacting and influencing each other in a battle for balance and enlightenment). The former is a surrender to fascination with whatever is, and the latter is a journey toward manifesting what you prefer.

Personally, I feel loved operating from the language of energy and having played in the world of exchange I can say there is little to entice me to live there full time. In the language of exchange I am in a box. I am gender and mental illness. I am skin colour and annual income bracket. I am intelligence quotient and career achievement. In the language of exchange I don’t feel loved. In fact, I feel broken and desperate and alone and worthless. I do not understand why this world of systems is so attractive when it feels so violent. Perhaps I am over-sensitive and if that is true then I am grateful for being so because it means I get to live in the language of energy.

From the language of energy I am in this moment and I am certain of the fact that I am a gift with an important job (and so is everyone else), so life is actually happening for me. What else do you need?

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