Morning PagesSeptember 24, 2014



What if the universe had a plan for reciprocity to be bigger than the illusion of immediate exchange? Not that it’s an illusion and you’re being duped, just that it’s an illusion you have any idea what’s really going on when you exist in this moment as this expression in the same space with another being. Even the idea that ‘you’ and the other being are separate is crazy. You are more like pulsating points expanding and contracting all the out to All That Is and back again, like ice is water is steam as it spreads it’s density into thinner and thinner phases.

So, just as “I” am a constantly changing, unique configuration of aspects walking around as consciousness, there is no boundary that defines that consciousness or fixes those aspects. My gender is on a spectrum, my intelligence is a set of conditional abilities, my weight, my skin colour, my hair, everything about me is always moving, always changing, never constant.

Each morning, before I am fully awake to the boxes of what is inherent about me, I am all things and the possibilities are endless. As I move into definitions of myself there is a particular density to who I am that immediately begins to breathe with the universe as my consciousness plays in the world but not of the world.

What does this have to do with reciprocity?

Well, if I know and live from the point where life is happening for me, as me (not to me) then how I understand give-and-take is altered. There is no room for exchange in a world where “I” am not a fixed address. There is nothing to transfer when I have no storage or capacity for ownership in separation. It would be like asking someone to see their in-breath as evil and their out-breath as good, it’s impossible to know where one ends and the other begins because there is no line.

Whatever you are being asked to “be” in this moment is not an exchange of your energy to something outside of yourself. You are being asked to be you. You are being asked to be you in this space. You are being asked to be you in this moment as an expression of All That Is in a more condensed phase, and this density gives existence linear time and fun and love and all the variables you know as the whole when you tap into your God-self or the Infinite.

Reciprocity, from this place where life is not a test or a battle and you don’t need to change people to know peace and harmony, is simple. Do what you’re told. Be who you are. And know that this density is a privilege, not a curse.

You can still build refuges and save whales and become a politician and have babies and donate to charity and be kind. None of these things need to change when you know that reciprocity is not about giving or doing or changing anything. All of these things are part of doing your job. If you are called to an action it is your job and the world needs you to focus on doing your job as much as being who you are.

By doing your job from a place of non-judgement you are able to live without enemies or outcomes. Your immune system will flourish, your relationships are real, your career is in the moment, and other people are sacred expressions of All That Is that may never make sense on the level of exchange but you know in your heart that they are part of that universal reciprocity. You know that they are doing the best they can with what they have. You know that judging and reprimanding or punishing them is not going to lift their sense of who they are out of what they have been convinced of about themselves, and until someone knows they are safe, worthwhile and that their life has meaning, their experience is not one of inner peace.

When everyone knows that they are a gift, when we all feel loved (safe, worthwhile and meaningful) our ability to be in this moment focused on who we are here to be and the messages we receive about what to do now, then our experience as a planet will be different. The thing is, it’s not about going out on a crusade to make the world different. Knowing you are a gif and feeling loved is about being in this moment tuned to its perfection. You cannot be tuned to the perfection of this moment if you are focused on what you want to change.

Keeping track of give-and-take is impossible when you surrender to the fact that you don’t know the bigger plan, you only know what you are doing. You can only tune to your part in the play. You cannot know anybody else’s part, even if it’s your job to counsel, be an oracle or somehow read people. When I am with a client, I hear and say what I am prompted to. I do not expect to understand that person or their experience, even when I have an empathic experience of their memories or emotions, I am not privy to what they know as their own expert. I can only know what I am being told to do or how it makes to me so that I can do my job.

Often I am given particular words or phrases to use that only that person will understand and I will be abel to describe their sense of the world in eerie detail, but even this is information for me so I can do my job. It’s not a window into someone else’s life that means I have the right or ability to know what is best or missing or next for them. I can only know my experience of this moment whether I am in session (where it might look like i’m giving) or when i’m getting a massage (where it might look like i’m receiving).

This does not mean I am not grateful. I can still be grateful when I feel supported by generosity and gentleness or beauty. How I feel when anything comes into my life is grateful because I know that life is happening for me. Someone is late and I am grateful, for Divine Timing knows better than me. My pay doesn’t go in the bank and I am grateful for the experience I have (not the one I don’t have).

As a condensed expression of All That Is I feel many things, that is the privilege of linear time physicality. What I give-and-receive is inseparable. I cannot make two columns and divide my experiences into that which has been ceded and that which is gained. Just as the in-breath and out-breath are one, what I do in the space where others do is always my own and ours simultaneously. The trick is being able to see it…


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