Morning PagesDecember 14, 2014

Dark Night of the Soul


It is said that a true confession can only be obtained through torture; that we wear our masks until the strength to hide is completely drained from our vulnerable bodies as in the so-called dark night of the soul.

Is it so unthinkable that we might be capable of knowing, embracing and empowering ourselves without first being driven to the edge of madness and broken by life’s cruelty?

Are you not yet convinced of another kind of God – an inner guidance that calls you closer to a heart made of Divine song? A Spirit who sees only what is loveable and precious about you.

What Makes You Unique Is Connecting (Not Separating You) From Other People

If you see angels, then surely it is your purpose. If you hear messages or feel sensations other than your own, these are what make you uniquely designed for your purpose. These are not bonus gifts from a Spirit who tally the good and bad that you do.

God is not a cognitive behavioural therapist. The Divine does not reward the goodness and punish the bad. The Divine sees you with unconditional love and will always remind you of your essential Divinity. These so-called [abilities] and [curses] are integral to your Divine Identity.

As a healer, it is your part to play as you wish. As an intellect, or an organiser your role is open to interpretation. You have been commissioned to be an aspect of the Divine in whatever capacity made manifest. And the Divine lives through you.

Through you, Spirit sees itself exploring many experiences made possible only by being human. Of all the ways living consciousness can exist, being human is the greatest privilege. It is both freedom and wonder – a rare and magnificent combination.

If you cannot see that;

If you are blind to the miracle of your life;

If you wait for a sign that your place is secure;

If you journey to a better version of yourself, a vision of global harmony… and you long to be free of such torment, then there is a way to connect with the Divine right now. A way to know your Divine Identity in all that you do. There is a way to feel your direct connection as a lived experience through your heart. A song that lights you up as see yourself loveable and precious just as you are.

What Tricks Must I Learn To Embrace My Divine Identity?

Life is not an abstract concept. For example, the story about a mother [stressed] as she seeks her child’s shoe on a busy day in a long line of things to [accomplish] in order to avoid the [disasters] of everyday life – poverty, exile, rejection, humiliation, admonishment – this story does not help YOU understand your own dilemma.

Instead, it simply settles you further into the quicksand of life happening to you. It secures the meanings and motives of being human in terms of [strengths] and [weaknesses]. And it takes you further from the possibility of holding each moment close to your bosom.

What About Those In-Between Moments?

In the void, awaiting salvation from what no longer serves you, there is gratitude for the NOW as a process akin to surgery. Gratitude for what will come as a consequence of removing that which poisons your perfect present.

But if you truly wish to honour the gift of life, then perhaps a turn to the left of regret and reconciliation is at hand. An acceptance of the NOW as perfection itself might rid you of your need to be rid of anything at all.

You desire to be FREE from the [old], from the [obstacles], from the [poison] and [patterns] of what irks your [progress] – In this desire lives your rejection of the Now; in this desire lives your rejection of Your Divine Identity.

As you lean into each and every moment with an open heart, there is no more need of labels that make you or anybody else wrong. Even as you [journey] through the [void], you know each stage for its own sake rather than as a necessary [suffering] on the [path] to somewhere [better].

So What Then Am I Motivated By?

As you soften the story you tell, life seems to open its arms to you. The trick is not to be [nice] so that people want to be around you. It is no trick that being yourself, heart open, makes the world a place of peace. It is a choice.

Consider this story:

There once was a holy man seen as debauched and corrupt who stood at mass as a lightning bolt struck to collapse the roof above him. Little did he know that a conspiracy of men had poisoned his wine and the fallen spire actually saved his life for he did not drink the poison. Now, this holy man told himself that God was punishing him for his indulgences and so began to fast in penance. He came back to his essential commitments to serve and was truly reformed.

Had the holy man known that he had been saved and not punished, he could have taken the same action. His story would have been different. That is, his explanation of what was meant by the falling spire would be different, and yet his actions, his clarity and commitment to essential Divine Identity could have resulted either way.

Knowing that God saved him and that he is precious could have served to bring him back to his essential Divine Identity just as effectively as believing he was being punished. Which version of the story are you telling?

We Tell Ourselves The Story That Makes Sense To Us

As you open to Spirit’s non-judgement, the stories you tell change. Instead of reward and punishment you see the unconditional love of All That Is. Instead of fair and unjust you hear your own calling back to the heart that sings your Divine Identity. But what of the stories we have already told?

If there is no more ‘dark night of the soul,’ then what story might you tell of your greatest torment?

What empowering insight takes its place as you unravel yourself from the comfort of familiar tales?

Where will you stand as life reveals itself as a series of sacred moments – no past, no future, no control?

Where Is Your Priority?

Rather than questioning the righteousness or outcome of your decisions, ask more about the weight of your preference.

For me it goes like this: in the shower, say, I stand beneath the flowing water head to toe for the sensation it brings. My hair may have looked more ‘appropriate’ had I not wet my head, but I am only concerned with how it feels, not how it looks. The qualia of our existence is what life is made of.

Life is not your CV or your stuff. There is only what you do, think, and feel in each moment.

What is your priority when you chastise yourself for being late, for sleeping in, for missing that meeting? What is your most sacred commitment when you add up all the things you don’t like about yourself and other people? Where is your focus when you are telling stories about who did what, about how life made you feel, about the nature of harmony yet to be accomplished?

If you seek a way to make more profit or a means to attract a lover or a method to secure life’s pleasures, then you seek to alter the conditions of your experience. At some point you will realise that the conditions change nothing.

Those who acquire all they desire still embody their ‘needy’ consciousness

Even when you are surrounded by all the riches you believe will make you happy, all the conditions that secure an easier, less stressful, more aligned life – there is one aspect you cannot shake.

There is no getting away from yourself.

Even if you found yourself in the palaces of Atlantis, you would bring with you all the hopes and dreams that plague your present life. Wherever you go, whomever you aspire to be through education, wealth or impactful outcomes, the essence of your happiness is in HOW YOU KNOW the world (not in what you master, avoid, acquire, accomplish or control).

How do YOU know the world?

What is really going on during a so-called ‘dark night of the soul’?

What rules are making you miserable?

Which aspect of self are you punishing for being different than you expected?

Who do you blame for life’s (difficulties)?

When is your heart open to the world for it’s own sake?

How To Open Your Heart To The World For Its Own Sake

When you know, embrace and empower yourself as an aspect of the Divine, then your heart opens again and again to each and every moment as if it is renewed. In Graceful Surrender to put yourself where you can see what Spirit sees, your heart is open to the world for its own sake – a Living Fusion with All That Is.

You will know your place in this world as a constant renewal. No longer shall you seek to tie down a distinct and discrete identity that must be defended at all costs. No longer will you be chastised for failing to satisfy an ideal that asks you to be something you are not.

From now on you will look for ways to use what you’ve got as a blessing. You will embrace your warrior, your whinging child, your righteousness, your organisational overdrive, and any other sense of self you find wanting. This embrace is without condition. You will learn to see how these aspects serve you. You will do this by trusting that you are perfectly designed for your purpose.

Each part of you is sacred. Each aspect is necessary and worthwhile. Even the parts that appear to cause heartbreak and anguish are merely servants that long to be acknowledged as integral to Your Divine Identity.

The heartbreak is often in longing for things that do not meet your expectations. And anguish is any attempt to make sense of things that only faith can explain. The parts of you that struggle to find their place, their nest, are no different from the rest. A true acceptance involves a knowing, embrace and empowerment of each and every aspect – as if they are your children, your servants and your mentors all at once.

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