What is it to care about or to be caring? I’m looking at how people understand their behaviour as care when they are focused on fixing instead of honouring and wondering how to have that conversation. Let’s try this…

There is a kind of therapy called Gestalt. It’s not really a therapy but more of an experience. Officially you might refer to it as an experimental phenomenology because it encourages you to try new behaviours so you can get a clearer picture of how you operate. You clarify what you are experiencing and how you are doing it.

I like Gestalt because unlike other methods, it doesn’t attempt to analyse your subconscious, unseen or hidden aspects. Gestalt is all about the here and now.

For me, the present is a unique and significant indication of who you are. That means that there’s no holding you to the past, not even five minutes ago because that experience can only be understood as an expression in this moment. Gestalt agrees with me, isn’t that cool?

It’s a complex and compelling therapy that deals with what bubbles to the surface as you become aware of this moment as filtered through your perceptual and cultural biases. It does not attempt to change or fix you. The Gestalt therapist has been described as ‘a creative agent of change, an inventor, and a compassionate and caring human being’*. Did you notice me bring it back to caring there? Seamless people, just brilliant :)

So, here’s my thing about caring.

When you want to do something for someone that they will not do for themselves or when you tell someone something they have not asked to hear, especially when it ‘helps’ them, this is not caring.

Now, I’m not talking about making dinner for children or washing someone who happens to be in a coma. I’m referring to situations where you desperately feel the need to fix something or to help someone fix something. This is not caring when it diminishes their sovereignty.

If you step in to do it for them, they can’t figure out how to do it for themselves. For example, if you tied a child’s shoe laces until the day they left home, they would go out into the world minus that skill. How is that caring?

Of course they could buy slip-ons and never have to face the fact that they don’t know how to tie up there own shoes and no-one would be the wiser except when they have kids of their own or if they really, really, really want that job with a dress code… you get the picture.

When you take responsibility for other people’s self-discovery – who they are, what they need, how they find meaning and purpose – you rob them of the opportunity to have that experience. Even in therapy I stick to asking the questions that allow you to recognise how to bring all of your aspects home and how to give them all a room in your house so that you can make every inherent idiosyncrasy work for you. Rarely will I ever tell you anything, except maybe that you are fabulous, and whatever your guides are screaming at me to say out loud. But apart from that, it’s all you.

So, if it pains you to see someone in need or ‘suffering’ and they have not asked you to intervene or they have not indicated any desire to change, then perhaps this situation has been sent to you for a reason. Ask yourself:

What is really going on for you? How can you stay with your experience of discomfort to understand it more intimately?

Discomfort is enlightening. It speaks to you about what you can and can’t live with. Sometimes it is so loud you try to drown out the noise by changing the station. What would happen if you sat with it’s annoying frequency just long enough to hear what it has to say?

Whenever you take the focus off of your own experience – for even someone else’s suffering is filtered through your sensory perception and cultural sensibilities – there is martyrdom or control in play. Chances are you will ‘go out of your way’ (that’s code for martyrdom) to be a hero, or you are ‘doing what needs to be done because you know best’ (and that’s control) to quiet the noise.

Whatever the angle, it is rarely caring.

To care is to stand with someone as they have their experience, it’s having the respect to grant them sovereignty over their actions and meaning, and it’s taking responsibility for your own…

*Zinker (1978) Creative Processes in Gestalt Therapy

the Quantum Map

the Quantum Map

In order to be whole, connected and flowing we need to be tuned to the symphony of life. Quantum field theories tell us that all particles are simply vibrations in a field*. That all fields are everywhere all the time.

Imagine the universe was a piece of sheet music, where each note is a point on the staff either between or on the line, think of each possible position on the staff as a field and each note as a particle (a localised vibration in the field).

Just as all frequencies only appear to be separate on a hierarchy of low to high until one looks from above and sees the spectrum as one thread inseparable and incapable of division into good-bad, right-wrong, high-low, reality is not available to us until we tune to the language of wholeness. The language of wholeness in inclusive and seeks to understand rather than judge or separate into categories. What is it that binds us, that makes us complete and worthwhile in this moment?

In this way, so-called material reality is not a collection of solid dots or fixed points that bounce off one another, but rather vibration itself. This means we are not separate from or subject to our ‘environment’ since all things are simply excitations of a field. Vibration does not go out from a solid point and ‘effect’ other points. Vibration is the nature of physical manifestation (including thought, feeling and space).

If there is no inside-outside, and we are not separate from or subject to, then we cannot be evolving in the sense of moving from simpler to more complex because this form of evolution is based in a picture of the universe as a Newtonian, mechanistic, Cartesian dualism incommensurate with vibrational reality. We are not solid things animated by separate mindful substances changing into better things with more advanced or collective mindful aspects. We are excitations of a field in a constant state of change always whole, always perfectly designed for our experience. Only our consciousness changes – that is, only the story about what’s really going on is changing.

Our visions for a united consciousness on the planet are going to happen if we can learn a new language. The old language was exchange. It was about ping-pong or pin-ball consciousness. The new language is energy (I call it Heart Alchemy). It is about neutral consciousness. In order to support this shift on the planet, our global family needs a new mythology – one based on inclusion and wholeness rather than pathology and opposition.

Our new mythology is a dynamic, quantum, spectrum-based ideology that surrenders mystery and experience as benevolent. Our old mythology was a cause-and-effect, Newtonian, mechanistic, Cartesian dualism based ideology that fought to change and manifest and judge experience as spiritual herding. It might take some getting used to. That’s okay. We’re in this together and we’re all doing the best we can with what we have. The point is not to work hard for an outcome, that’s the old consciousness. The point is to tune into neutral consciousness whenever you can and feel the inter-connected experience of reality.

There are some ideas we will need to refashion so that the new mythology becomes a cosmology. That is, we need a new language to experience life in this new way. It is one thing to read about or think about but to experience is unique. When we use this new language there is a rewiring not just of the brain but in the way we experience our soul, our purpose, each other, the planet, and the story we tell about the past.

With this new language our meanings are transformed. There cannot be ’cause’ and ‘effect’ since these too rely on duality; and we reframe our language around ‘improvement’ and ‘outcome’ because all of these concepts are impossible once we live in a vibrational universe where reality is neutral.

It’s like suddenly discovering that your father isn’t biologically responsible for bringing you into the world. The love is still present but you long to know how you came to be who you are, to meet a genetic mirror who might explain more about what you inherited.

This new information opens you up to learn more about what’s really making you show up in this unique way. You open up to the possibility that your idiosyncrasies are part of something significant – a whole lineage of connection yet to be explored.

This new identity is natural and full of possibility. You feel new, like you can re-tell the past from a different perspective. Now that you know there is more going on than previously understood, you are open and flexible to new explanations for why you had this or that experience. Your life is recounted and made meaningful in an empowering reshaping process (although nothing has changed).

This fresh perspective is only empowering if you allow it to reposition your “why?” It is the why that informs our mythology which in turn directs our focus and either taps us into or keeps us out of neutral consciousness. Neutral consciousness is always there, the fact of your lineage is always there, only your awareness changes. Only the story and “why?” changes. Only your language is effected and this is where your experience lives.

Now, this might not make sense when you consider experience as a vehicle for variation, but experience is also neutral until we excite the field of judgement. In non-judgement we are capable of knowing reality in its neutral state. This is not to say that you become a robot. Your experience of life is beauty and wonder in neutral consciousness, it is simply the notion of cause-and-effect, higher-lower, right-wrong, good-bad, and other polarities that begin to crumble as we tap into the language, mythology and consciousness of life according to the Quantum Map.

Once we learn to speak energy and see the world through neutral consciousness, life becomes effortless. Our own happiness and our story about the world is inseparable. As visionaries and activists and parents and teachers and participants on this global scale we are supported by a mythology that keeps us inter-connected. We are capable of sustained happiness and drive, no matter what when our mythology allows us to live in peace as the world meets or fails our expectations.

How can you see what is when your mind will only let you see what your biases – perceptual and cognitive – allow?

Yes the filters appear to distort and focus the mind in particular ways but you also have access to truth beyond perception. When your soul speaks it is clear that you are more than cognition. Even if it appears to break all the rules or frightens your sensibilities, there are things that you come across which feel bright and hopeful like doorways into magical playgrounds where all our burdens have been lifted.

Once you begin to say “yes” to this new way of being on the planet, this neutral consciousness, you will understand even the mind’s filters in a non-judgemental way. You will see all things as serving you no matter how crazy or illogical they seem. You will see the order in chaos and more than this, you will feel love playing it’s symphony in all things.

No more duality, no more polarities, no more judgement, no more control, no more categories or separation, no more pathology, no more outcomes or intentions, no more becoming or evolving, no more enemies and allies, no more layers or levels or lines between anything or anyone. We are capable of something truly whole, compassionate and complete in this moment as an aspect of the Divine…

Learn more in the Perfect Present 8 Week Experience

*Lincoln, D (2013) The Good Vibrations of Quantum Field Theories

ID 115733450 © Ekaterina Gerasimova |

Awareness and Meditation

Reading the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, I am contemplating the wisdom of ‘awareness’ portrayed as a three pronged process. First the word or sound (including thought), then the wave in your Chitta representing the idea or meaning of the sound, and finally after the waves dies, knowledge.

I am also pondering spider medicine-wisdom. Something about the web of connection and the concept of tangle in our modern conversation around ‘enlightenment’ or ‘clarity’ is still steeped in pathology. We seek to untangle ourselves, our minds, and our intention or focus from that which no longer serves, in order to fix or heal or make pure. All of these ideas are in duality. They separate ‘us’ from ‘ideal’ and in the process, ask us to see ourselves as incomplete, as imperfect – somehow as a flawed piece of the harmonious and balanced whole that is the Infinite.

Perfection is not an outcome. It is our natural state. Whether we are living in Divinity or contemplating suicide, there is something innately and immutably perfect about where we are right now. No human or social or spiritual concept of what is best can take away from that fact.

No Angel ever told me that we need to do better. No Ascended Master ever communicated a chastise or rebuke. We are loved and supported and encouraged to live a full-bodied experience including the whole gamut of emotions and possible adventures. Our sense of what is ‘right’ only serves to separate us. Whatever else is going on, there is an opportunity to be inter-connected and this is why we are here together right now on this planet attempting to put structures in place that foster global harmony.

Until now we have not had a language to bring everyone together into one family. All of our ideologies have been steeped in duality and judgement. If we want to work together, we need a new mythology. If we want to be inclusive and compassionate, then we need a new way of being on the planet with each other, with ourselves. This is why I work with Louise Moriarty to create projects that support the people who have a vision for humanity.

This new language, this new mythology is what is needed to birth a new cosmology – that is, a new way of understanding ourselves and one another that informs us how to live together on the planet. This is Heart Alchemy…

The Perfect Present 8 Week Experience easy as $123

Finding Your Own Truth

Once upon a time – for there was always a sense of time crushing our dreams with some kind of commitment to be doing the bidding of priorities other than those our heart might cling to for salvation amidst the turmoil and injustice we perceived our lives to be embroiled in – once upon a time there lived a man named Tim and his daughter, Melanie. Now Tim was a simple man brought up with the fear of God and a healthy dose of class based humility. A cobbler, of all things, who loved to dance.
Tim the cobbler who loved to dance was chastising his daughter one day for not moving. “Melanie” said Tim, “’tis not safe to be idle in these dark times. You must learn to dance and sing and be more active lest the Devil take hold in the spaces you leave still!” Of course Melanie loved her father and wanted to do as he bid but there was something else inside of her, something that longed for her to be still and quiet and listen with the greatest strain in case it say something to her in the few precious moments her life allowed time alone.
Her love for her father pushed her to want what he asked, to make him happy – to see him smile. This pushing made the will to be still a bad thing in her life. She began to see it as a curse, as a door for the evil of the world to get inside her head and act through her on the people she cared about. Melanie was torn. In order to be a good person she had to deny the one thing her heart desired, the one place her soul wished to speak to and this was enough to make her crazy.
At first it was just a small voice, a reminder to keep moving, keep from the silence and stillness of life. But as time went on, Melanie began to receive louder and louder messages to keep safe until eventually she couldn’t keep from twitching and pacing and panting and flailing and grunting and moving everything all day long in a fit of desperate activity. Meanwhile, her father was driven to madness worrying what had befallen his beautiful daughter. Tim thought for sure the Devil had gotten hold of her soul and was now in the process of devouring her very essence.
Unable to work or think about anything else, Tim set out to find the medicine that would cure his precious daughter of her torment. He travelled through his country and far into foreign lands seeking a holy man or blessed potion to ease her suffering, to no avail. Each exorcist and priest he came across told him his Melanie was beyond their help. Gripped with love and fear Tim could not give up and refused to leave his daughter in the Devil’s hands.
Tired, wrinkled, old and through habit more than passion Tim walked long roads between cities in search of a medicine for his almost unrecognisable Melanie who now lived in a wooden cage he wheeled behind him. Together they travelled hot, dusty paths to towns where people seemed invisible to Tim now that his life was committed to casting out the Devil from his life, and these same townsfolk were more and more intolerable to Melanie as she became more and more sensitive to the voices plaguing her every waking moment.
One day, at the edge of a place Tim had hoped to find shelter they were stopped by a herd of goats. It was festival time and no-one was getting in or out of town tonight but the shepherd directed Tim to a house on the far side of town, the home of a poet. Grateful for the chance to rest, Tim dragged Melanie through the paddocks churning up mud and clay, powered by pure determination to survive to see just one more day.
As they came upon the house a woman ran to greet them both with the warmth and joy of an old friend. “Tim! I’ve been waiting so long, it’s fabulous to see you both. Come in! Come in!” Tim stopped to examine the woman closely in case he had failed to recognise her face, but it was not a face he knew. “Do I know you?” he asked suspicious and uncertain for perhaps this woman was a witch. And everyone knows you have to beware of witches, well at least all the God fearing people in Tim’s way of seeing do. Witches are hands of the Devil.
The poet smiled as she unlocked Melanie’s cage and ushered them inside without another word.
Once inside Melanie was sat in the corner among a collection of cacti that prickled and itched if she wriggled too much. They were both given a bowl of soup by the fire as the poet sang gentle music that caressed their tired bones. Finally Tim could hold himself up no longer and accepted the poet’s offer of a hammock swinging on the porch by a copse that trees swiftly singing him to sleep. That night Tim and Melanie were in the same dream – a dragon flew down from the mountains into a small town terrorising them day and night without warning. A dragon that blew fire on Melanie and icy bone chilling breath on Tim. For ten long years the two were singled out by this unrelenting beast as all else in the town were left in peace to do as they wished somehow unawares of the torture the two endured.
When Tim tried to tell people about the dragon’s chill the townsfolk would shake their heads and walk away. How could they be so cold? How could they not see that their lives were made miserable by a monster in the mountain? In the dream Tim and Melanie were summoned to head of state for a ceremonial banishment. “Ten years we have waited for you to see, and for ten years you have chosen to ignore the wisdom of the Earth dragon. Go now to the mountain and meet your soul.”
Tim could not believe people were capable of such cruelty. Surely they could see it was through no fault of their own that this monster tormented them? How could the town resign these two innocent victims to such a harrowing fate? He though about escape but they were never alone and there was only one way out of town left unguarded – toward the mountain. Still hoping for a way to avoid certain death, Tim decided to take his daughter into the mountain and find a way around. As long as they were together he would do everything in his power to keep her safe.
Banished without supplies they were forced to take the roads open to those who needed water and shelter to survive. They found little to eat but enough seemed to make itself apparent as they trudged up the slope. After eleven days of climbing they came upon a clearing and decided to rest. Just as they sank to the ground their dragon slipped from behind a rock face to pin them down. “Take me, take me!” pleaded Tim. “Just leave my daughter she has done nothing to deserve such a violent death. I will gladly give my life to save hers.”
The dragon roared so ferociously it shook the world and all around them began to crumble. As Tim prepared to be devoured he clenched his eyes shut and began to pray. But nothing happened. Slowly, cautiously he peeked through one eye and found the dragon weeping. Perhaps he should have taken the opportunity to run but something inside him urged him to stay. “Why do you weep dragon?” asked Tim. “Because you blame me for your suffering when all I have ever done is call you home” the dragon wailed.
The dragon continued, “why do you ignore the very essence of who you are? It pains me to see you live a life of distrust and self-imposed misery. All I ever needed was for you to follow your heart…” At that moment the belly of the dragon began to glow and Tim felt his own love of God stir inside himself filling him with calm and loving kindness.
“But who are you?” Tim whispered. “And why have you been tormenting us all these years?”
“I am your soul” the dragon answered, “and I have been trying to give you a sense of what it is to be you! I have been trying to help you understand what it is like when you ask your daughter to be something she is not, when you ask her to disconnect from her own soul’s message! I have been sending you experiences of great empathy and self-awareness trying so hard to get you to listen to your own sense of life’s miracle but you keep pushing me away. So I get louder and bigger and more unbearable in the hope that I become the only important thing your life so I can save you from all the pain and suffering you put yourself through.”
The two sat in silence for longer than Tim had ever dared to be still. Finally, the dragon reached into his belly and gave Tim a piece of his core, asking without words to share this sacred aspect with his daughter. Tim had completely forgotten about Melanie for the moment, and suddenly became aware that she was busy having her own conversation with the dragon of fire who told Melanie of all the unnecessary rules she was following in the hope of gaining her father’s love. A love that was not about making people happy or doing what you were told, but instead a love that asked her to stand up for herself and be who she was Divinely designed to be. Not about rules that were taking her further and further away from the ability to love and celebrate herself, but rather about rules that gave her a clearer sense of what her soul was speaking into life.
As each of them were given a piece of their soul-dragon to share with one another, the dream vanished and they were comfortable in their beds at the poet’s house. The poet was gone leaving them a note, porridge and enough supplies for the season. The note read as follows:
Dear Ones who travel with love in their heart there is one obligation your soul asks to live
To be who you are right now as you start wherever you are with nought to forgive
Simply a reason to be on this day a beautiful being, the Divine’s human eyes
Asking only to feel, rest and play. Loving you whole as healthy and wise
So drop all your rules and stories and fear, sing out your soul’s uniqueness and glow
For God is within you, holding you dear, trusting that life is a child’s “I don’t know”
No polarities.
Life is.

The Heart of a Leader

Open-hearted, you are interconnected but what does that mean when you are a leader? How do you ‘be with’ when it is your job to speak into existence words and feeling-wisdom that asks you to channel Earth messages? It is an interesting question and it has an even more fascinating reply…

We are brought closer by our uniqueness. Nothing in our constantly shifting configuration of self can take us further from those we share this experience with. And even though there are stories about needing to be a particular way in order to connect and love one another, truly there is only ever this moment. Perfect and privileged to be aware of whatever is occurring for us, in company, this life is a blessed koan.

To ‘be with’ is to be yourself without edges. A linking of ‘I’ to ‘I’ and a meeting of energetic experiences. The words ‘aura’ and ‘energy’ are not quite efficient enough to grasp the expansion I speak of. It happened for me in a little room under the hand of Linda Charlson – a wellness practitioner. A gift from dear friends of mine from the bush.

As I was asked to merge with her aura, Jesus name into my body and I felt the concept of Christ consciousness in an embodied experience. We are no longer being asked to ‘work toward’ something that resembles interconnection; we are being invited to embody the soul as Christ energy to ‘be with’ people, animals, plants, elements, entities, energetic planes of existence, and more.

To ‘be with’ is to TRUST that what we are connecting to is safe to meet from our integrated self. I have been with people my whole life, as a conduit of their intuitive guidance. Now I am being asked to ‘be with’ from a fully embodied soul. It is a subtle difference but it asks me to let energy flow through my hands, to fill the world with my presence, and to share as an interconnectedness (rather than as a vehicle for mirror-delivered information).

This new way of being is what allows me to have CHOICE, something I am not used to and have been turning over in my hands like meditation balls. The ringing prayer of non-thinking question energy is a great meditative state. I do love having a ponderous hum circling me as I move through the world. It fills so much of my space. Space that has felt too vast, too heavy with silent responsibility to be separate. Now there is no space. Instead I see the same web of liquid energy connections I saw at Gramercy in conversation with Jan – a Heart Math and Beyond practitioner.

I miss Jan. I know there is much we will do together. I know she is counsel and playmate in this place. That sacred circle created at Gramercy lives in the now, feeding my heart an interconnectedness that reassures me that there are many ways to know life’s treasure. As a leader, as a Living Master, as a messenger, I Am here to offer a new way of being on the planet. It is a gentle consciousness, a Graceful Surrender and inclusive planetary dynamic steeped in unconditional love.

At first it sounds harsh and unjust. I know, I can feel the anger-fear of taking away dichotomy and judgement. Even though the word ‘justice’ means impartial, objective, neutral – it is still an emotionally charged leap from the ideas that separate us into good-bad, right-wrong, to the ideas that connect as a global family. A family that is motivated by the desire to feel loved.

Nothing is as simple as victim and perpetrator. There is no such thing as an isolated incident. We are all of us bringing our preconceptions with us, and everybody acts on their own sense of reason. I talk about these things in terms of perceptual and cognitive bias in ‘How to BE Medicine’, and there are many other ways of understanding this personal story reality.

Our reason is built on stories about the significance of life’s events. Life’s events are not neutral records of reality as-it-is. They are imbued with all that we feel and want and focus upon. There is no such thing as objectivity, and we are not being asked to attain such a non-human sense of life. We are, instead being asked to embrace this bias and put it to use as a vehicle of self-acceptance, self-determination, and unconditional love.

Our perception, our inescapable bias is a snake eating it’s tail and yet there is something that opens your heart knowing the truth is more than good and bad, right and wrong, noble and weak, compassion and cruelty. Those seeking to be connected, to know Oneness, and to heal the planet are invited to open their hearts in this new way. It is not the only way. It is simply a different language that the Earth seeks to birth so that life can do it’s ‘work’ and live together as a global family at the same time.

Without enemies or outcomes, without right-ways and wrong-doers, without enlightened and 3D brute, or any other system that seeks to divide us into pathological categories – there is an opportunity for unconditional love as a lived experience. Not as a vision for the planet or the result of an effort. Just a way of being.

When you know all the reasons and see the shades of meaning that connect us all together, then it becomes almost impossible to hate. When you remember that your soul motivation is to FEEL LOVED, then there is no other story, and you are FREE to be present in a benevolent universe because life really is happening for you…

On the Gentle Cycle

We all live in constant flux. Sometimes we can perceive the pattern of change and that makes it easier to surrender. Other times our desire to know gets in the way. The desire to be in control simply by knowing what to expect or why life unfolds the way it does, these are personal and intimate conversations. Where am I now and how did I get here?

Imperceptible change, that subtle difference that seems to sneak up and grow louder unbeknownst to us until we catch ourselves in reflection – this too is a personal and intimate conversation. Who do we think we are and where did this new self come from?

Sometimes we are asked to do something unexpected, to say something out of character, or to be with a situation in a new way. These experiments open us up to a possibility that the same old script would have us overlook. As we are remade in each moment, dancing with our purpose and presence, there are numerous invitations into this unknown space. How we approach them is an art. The feeling of no longer being the expert or of being open to a new ontology is more than humbling. It is the kind of honesty that explorers and leaders and oracles must embrace if they value their adventure more than any fixed illusion.

Recently a dear friend indulged me in a Joyful Hearts Angel Healing. At first neither of us knew what was expected, so we surrendered to our respected positions and listened. I was given a great many images and messages – a big tall strong tree totem, a series of endings, and magnificent visuals of myself as a book that stretches out forever on either side the pages fluttering like fronded leaves or wings. Annie, my Angel Healer, received a single beautiful image – a snail.

I am a snail!

A snail is always home. They are connected to the Earth, sensing their world through touch, and leaving a glorious silver trail wherever they go. In my case this silver trail is a symbol of what I weave through the various places I have been and lives I have touched. It is a most assuring image.

To feel the world is part of my journey. It is an integral aspect of how I know this moment – not as a means to an end but as a sense among many. To embrace this sense is to know where I am. To celebrate this feeling is to know who I am. And to see it as a blessing is to see where else I get to play.

Sometimes we feel to push or protest like a child anchored to the ground when we find ourselves made in a particular way. It feels as if we have found a box to escape or a curse to untangle. But what if that sense of what makes us uniquely designed for our purpose on this plane is not a curse? What if that immediately immutable is an invitation to play in other areas?

Whatever we think is unchanging about ourselves is always moving. Even if one aspect stays with us our entire lifetime, it is remade in every moment. Rarely does such a thing occur. Most of us will have immutable aspect for a series of moments, until we don’t. They stay with us for as long as we need them then they meld into new gifts of perception and persona.

When you find an immutable aspect, how can you celebrate it? How can you trust that this is perfect and divinely guided? Then, when you have had your tantrum, released the need for control, and finally exhaled all your fight – how can you inhale the joy of being who you are?

This joy is more than simply ‘knowing’ and accepting. It is a celebration!

If I must feel, then this is a sacred part of my experience never to be chided or the object of my regret. If I must feel, then where else do I get to play? What other choices do I have about how the world works? Which areas are open to interpretation and malleable to the warmth of my heart?

This is my focus. To see the places I get to play and celebrate the aspects that make me fabulous. Today I choose to write before intake of anyone else’s ideas. Today I choose to wear the textures my snail self enjoys. Today I choose to sing my way through life; to follow my fascination and sit quietly with the world as I lean in to feel it’s holiness.

What will you do?

What are you doing?

How can you know yourself as sacredly designed?

When do you give yourself the chance to exhale your protest so that the inhale of celebration can take place?

Who will you be when you no longer cling to life as a fixed address?

Choosing Joy

Choosing Joy

When I was at university studying Sociology, it became apparent that each new topic was a way to tell the story of the world from a different angle. Terrorism and it’s causes, feminism, love and friendship, human resources, philosophy of mind, consciousness studies, scientific revolutions, myth, statistics, and all the other units I took all told me about the world from a unique perspective.

All of them were exceedingly convincing and I came to realise that in their own way they were all true. In their own way, they held to a point in time and space that informs us of a particular set of data. None of them, it seems, considered reality holistically. How could they?

Even studying culture and healing which highlights the nature of mindful matter, perceptual bias and other wonders, still faded at edges to exclude discussions seen as outside the field. Having heard all of these stories and more, I feel there is nothing outside. Nor is there anything inside. The illusion of separation, of dividing reality into matter and energy, is unnecessary.

I’m reading a set of lectures originally published in 1922 by Alice A. Bailey titled ‘The Consciousness of Atoms,’ a book which popped out at the library along with Yoga Sutras, Mindfulness in the Modern World by Osho, The Ego Trick by Julian Bagel, and Mind & Cosmos by Thomas Nagel (as well as a Hunter S. Thompson anthology and a few Zen writings). The lectures have so far iterated the three essential stories on the planet – (i) realism or materialism, (ii) supernaturalism, and (iii) idealism.

It fascinates me to read such a succinct and scholarly repast from the early twentieth century.

It sparks my imagination to great heights when one so direct and yet exceedingly learned can speak without apology on a subject which must have been scandalous for its time. And the cards I draw for myself around the work I do echo this sentiment. For you see, I return to the question of what it is I want again and again. Mostly because the only answer is to have what I need to do what I’m told (intuitively), which seems to make the call to have desire grow louder.

For some time, perhaps six months or so, I have been asked to think about what I want. It seems I have dutifully followed my instructions and had my experiences in the moment since birth and the guiding chorus of wisdom now wants me to know desire. Not that I have not experienced pleasure or been absent to choice, but that the world is made simple by following my instructions and having no preference – only surrendering to the moment and focusing on what I need, to be present to what is, from a place of unconditional love and pure embodied expression.

Now, it seems, that is all going to change.

It is the difference between a leaf blowing in the breeze and a living doll. Between a wave and a participant consciousness where fancy and play are enjoyed in the fullness of human expression rather than kept secret from aspiring, unsatisfied artists. To be oneself is not simply a matter of being on purpose. The universe wishes us to also have joy. So far my life has found that joy in finding ways to love unconditionally. What now?

Where does one find the joy of something more than knowing how to be in the world as Spirit consciousness?

As I embrace this question and the energetic of surrender, I release the need for an answer. I know that life is not about answers, it is an opening up to and expansion from not knowing that allows miracles to happen. It is love to be in the question without need or desire for conclusion or closure. We are greatly served by the energetic of questions that allow us to see ourselves as constantly moving, constantly reforming and redesigned by each moment. Of this I can be sure until it no longer serves me. For just as every myth on the planet is true until it is not, our truth is certain as long as life continues to fruit.

Whatever my desire, whatever new way of being on the planet this question of choice and preference alights, all I can know for sure is that paying attention is the answer.

Dark Night of the Soul

Dark Night of the Soul


It is said that a true confession can only be obtained through torture; that we wear our masks until the strength to hide is completely drained from our vulnerable bodies as in the so-called dark night of the soul.

Is it so unthinkable that we might be capable of knowing, embracing and empowering ourselves without first being driven to the edge of madness and broken by life’s cruelty?

Are you not yet convinced of another kind of God – an inner guidance that calls you closer to a heart made of Divine song? A Spirit who sees only what is loveable and precious about you.

What Makes You Unique Is Connecting (Not Separating You) From Other People

If you see angels, then surely it is your purpose. If you hear messages or feel sensations other than your own, these are what make you uniquely designed for your purpose. These are not bonus gifts from a Spirit who tally the good and bad that you do.

God is not a cognitive behavioural therapist. The Divine does not reward the goodness and punish the bad. The Divine sees you with unconditional love and will always remind you of your essential Divinity. These so-called [abilities] and [curses] are integral to your Divine Identity.

As a healer, it is your part to play as you wish. As an intellect, or an organiser your role is open to interpretation. You have been commissioned to be an aspect of the Divine in whatever capacity made manifest. And the Divine lives through you.

Through you, Spirit sees itself exploring many experiences made possible only by being human. Of all the ways living consciousness can exist, being human is the greatest privilege. It is both freedom and wonder – a rare and magnificent combination.

If you cannot see that;

If you are blind to the miracle of your life;

If you wait for a sign that your place is secure;

If you journey to a better version of yourself, a vision of global harmony… and you long to be free of such torment, then there is a way to connect with the Divine right now. A way to know your Divine Identity in all that you do. There is a way to feel your direct connection as a lived experience through your heart. A song that lights you up as see yourself loveable and precious just as you are.

What Tricks Must I Learn To Embrace My Divine Identity?

Life is not an abstract concept. For example, the story about a mother [stressed] as she seeks her child’s shoe on a busy day in a long line of things to [accomplish] in order to avoid the [disasters] of everyday life – poverty, exile, rejection, humiliation, admonishment – this story does not help YOU understand your own dilemma.

Instead, it simply settles you further into the quicksand of life happening to you. It secures the meanings and motives of being human in terms of [strengths] and [weaknesses]. And it takes you further from the possibility of holding each moment close to your bosom.

What About Those In-Between Moments?

In the void, awaiting salvation from what no longer serves you, there is gratitude for the NOW as a process akin to surgery. Gratitude for what will come as a consequence of removing that which poisons your perfect present.

But if you truly wish to honour the gift of life, then perhaps a turn to the left of regret and reconciliation is at hand. An acceptance of the NOW as perfection itself might rid you of your need to be rid of anything at all.

You desire to be FREE from the [old], from the [obstacles], from the [poison] and [patterns] of what irks your [progress] – In this desire lives your rejection of the Now; in this desire lives your rejection of Your Divine Identity.

As you lean into each and every moment with an open heart, there is no more need of labels that make you or anybody else wrong. Even as you [journey] through the [void], you know each stage for its own sake rather than as a necessary [suffering] on the [path] to somewhere [better].

So What Then Am I Motivated By?

As you soften the story you tell, life seems to open its arms to you. The trick is not to be [nice] so that people want to be around you. It is no trick that being yourself, heart open, makes the world a place of peace. It is a choice.

Consider this story:

There once was a holy man seen as debauched and corrupt who stood at mass as a lightning bolt struck to collapse the roof above him. Little did he know that a conspiracy of men had poisoned his wine and the fallen spire actually saved his life for he did not drink the poison. Now, this holy man told himself that God was punishing him for his indulgences and so began to fast in penance. He came back to his essential commitments to serve and was truly reformed.

Had the holy man known that he had been saved and not punished, he could have taken the same action. His story would have been different. That is, his explanation of what was meant by the falling spire would be different, and yet his actions, his clarity and commitment to essential Divine Identity could have resulted either way.

Knowing that God saved him and that he is precious could have served to bring him back to his essential Divine Identity just as effectively as believing he was being punished. Which version of the story are you telling?

We Tell Ourselves The Story That Makes Sense To Us

As you open to Spirit’s non-judgement, the stories you tell change. Instead of reward and punishment you see the unconditional love of All That Is. Instead of fair and unjust you hear your own calling back to the heart that sings your Divine Identity. But what of the stories we have already told?

If there is no more ‘dark night of the soul,’ then what story might you tell of your greatest torment?

What empowering insight takes its place as you unravel yourself from the comfort of familiar tales?

Where will you stand as life reveals itself as a series of sacred moments – no past, no future, no control?

Where Is Your Priority?

Rather than questioning the righteousness or outcome of your decisions, ask more about the weight of your preference.

For me it goes like this: in the shower, say, I stand beneath the flowing water head to toe for the sensation it brings. My hair may have looked more ‘appropriate’ had I not wet my head, but I am only concerned with how it feels, not how it looks. The qualia of our existence is what life is made of.

Life is not your CV or your stuff. There is only what you do, think, and feel in each moment.

What is your priority when you chastise yourself for being late, for sleeping in, for missing that meeting? What is your most sacred commitment when you add up all the things you don’t like about yourself and other people? Where is your focus when you are telling stories about who did what, about how life made you feel, about the nature of harmony yet to be accomplished?

If you seek a way to make more profit or a means to attract a lover or a method to secure life’s pleasures, then you seek to alter the conditions of your experience. At some point you will realise that the conditions change nothing.

Those who acquire all they desire still embody their ‘needy’ consciousness

Even when you are surrounded by all the riches you believe will make you happy, all the conditions that secure an easier, less stressful, more aligned life – there is one aspect you cannot shake.

There is no getting away from yourself.

Even if you found yourself in the palaces of Atlantis, you would bring with you all the hopes and dreams that plague your present life. Wherever you go, whomever you aspire to be through education, wealth or impactful outcomes, the essence of your happiness is in HOW YOU KNOW the world (not in what you master, avoid, acquire, accomplish or control).

How do YOU know the world?

What is really going on during a so-called ‘dark night of the soul’?

What rules are making you miserable?

Which aspect of self are you punishing for being different than you expected?

Who do you blame for life’s (difficulties)?

When is your heart open to the world for it’s own sake?

How To Open Your Heart To The World For Its Own Sake

When you know, embrace and empower yourself as an aspect of the Divine, then your heart opens again and again to each and every moment as if it is renewed. In Graceful Surrender to put yourself where you can see what Spirit sees, your heart is open to the world for its own sake – a Living Fusion with All That Is.

You will know your place in this world as a constant renewal. No longer shall you seek to tie down a distinct and discrete identity that must be defended at all costs. No longer will you be chastised for failing to satisfy an ideal that asks you to be something you are not.

From now on you will look for ways to use what you’ve got as a blessing. You will embrace your warrior, your whinging child, your righteousness, your organisational overdrive, and any other sense of self you find wanting. This embrace is without condition. You will learn to see how these aspects serve you. You will do this by trusting that you are perfectly designed for your purpose.

Each part of you is sacred. Each aspect is necessary and worthwhile. Even the parts that appear to cause heartbreak and anguish are merely servants that long to be acknowledged as integral to Your Divine Identity.

The heartbreak is often in longing for things that do not meet your expectations. And anguish is any attempt to make sense of things that only faith can explain. The parts of you that struggle to find their place, their nest, are no different from the rest. A true acceptance involves a knowing, embrace and empowerment of each and every aspect – as if they are your children, your servants and your mentors all at once.

To learn more book a private session or sign up for The Perfect Present 8 Week Experience

Spiritual Quandry: When to choose between NOW and the Bigger Picture

Spiritual Quandry: When to choose between NOW and the Bigger Picture

I open my emails this morning to one guy who wants to teach me a simple 3 step process to discover and share your talents and gifts to the world and to leave a legacy on this planet (which also happens to make me lots of cash); while someone else is offering me the blueprint for your best year ever (also enticingly capable of making me rich); yet another email points out a scientific study showing that most people would rather continue to do something that ISN’T working, rather than try something new that MIGHT work, and risk failing as a taunt to book a session with their rockstar coaching team (who will show me how to make more money); and lastly, a special Guidebook gift to help me get the most out of brand-new, free online seminar event about my transformation!

Whether it’s love, money or time people seem to be selling all manner of methods to acquire more. Except when I reach the Shift Network’s email about Gangaji – Natural Realization: Peacefully Resolving the Tension Between Freedom and Daily Responsibility. Gangaji will guide listeners into the deepest possibility for their lives as they walk the razor’s edge of their divinity and humanity, revealing how to:

> Resist nothing and fully open to all that is arising
> Find refuge in the silence, even in the midst of conflict and miscommunication
> Invite your whole being to surrender at a deeper level than the mind

Freedom is not found outside of commitments and responsibilities but through profound surrender. Non-resistance to life allows us to realize that there is nothing to get and nowhere to go. Everything we are is already here.

That’s rare.

To find someone willing to talk about our experience as already perfect. Not in the comparative way, perfect for your purpose. When the expansion of that idea leads to labels of ‘miscommunication’ and ‘conflict’ I wonder if it is the same kind of perfect that I espouse. With a ‘deeper level’ to be discovered and a sense of ‘resistance’ the appeal of perfection is all but lost.

I get that it’s hard to see life beyond oppositions and better outcomes.

I see that life is presented in a way you can’t help but judge as right and wrong.

What I’m excited about is the fact that no-one else is taking you through the eyes of Spirit – so it must be my job! If no-one else on the planet is talking about Oneness as no polarities, non judgement, no pathology, no control and no separation – then it must be up to me to introduce this crazy new idea.

Think about it for a moment. If Oneness is about no separation, then how can you have an ‘effect’ on someone else? How can you have unconditional love for your fellow beings if you separate the world into right-wrong, enlightened-ignorant, good-bad et cetera?

I like what Gangaji is saying about surrender and the idea that we are seeking a way to peacefully resolve the tension between freedom and daily responsibility. Divided priorities will always lead us into a space of uncertainty where we question our purpose. I know this because I also know there’s something else going on.

Because I Am not capable of seeing anything outside of the perfection of the Divine, I Am exactly where I need to be at all times (even when I don’t know why). For me, there is no ‘waiting’ or ‘better outcome’ because I can see what Spirit tells me – life is happening for me.

Even all the things you believe to be ‘obstacles’ of ‘evil’ are still manifestations of the Divine. We are coming into an age where more and more people want to feel their connection to the Divine directly. People want to see the world through Spirit’s eyes so they can make sense of life from a place of Inner Peace. It’s your Divine Identity that allows you to experience each moment on Earth directly through Spirit.

That’s what I’m called to do. Speak the words, sing the sounds and hear the messages that allow you to see yourself as directly connected. Once you know yourself as an aspect of the Divine, it’s up to you how to proceed – as a separate human being or in Oneness. Either way you are always on purpose, always an aspect of the Divine, and perfectly designed for your mission.

If you decide to experience life as a point of Oneness, then I will stand with you in that too. Whatever you decide is perfect. Life is a unique and sacred experience. If you’re looking for something that doesn’t make you wrong; if you’re open to new ideas about how we operate on this planet, then trust your intuitive guidance and make a connection…

Melanie Brockwell – Living Master of Heart Alchemy

Connect Here 

The Thrive Movement

Yesterday I was looking through some social media posts I had saved for later and came across an article about ‘Linear chains of the body-mind.’ Which begins ‘Dr. Guiseppe Calligaris studied medicine, received the highest grades and obtained his medical degree in 1901 summa cum laude at the medical facility in Bologna for his pioneering dissertation titled, Thoughts Do Heal.’

The article said Calligaris conducted ‘research into the body-mind skin-reflex chains,’ that ‘for over thirty years, Calligaris examined thousands of individuals, and discovered that the system of coordinates and points on the skin of the human body evoked reproducible effects. He proved that everybody could be stimulated to enhance clairvoyance, clairaudience, and precognition and retrocognition, the same way that we learn writing or mathematical calculations. Calligaris discovered points of intersections of cosmic energies which acted as mirrors, collectors and accumulators. He found that these points could be loaded [i.e. a force applied against the point], for instance, by metal cylinders, and stimulated to better reflect the higher intelligence and to produce an echo of the vital vibrations of the universe.’

‘Dr. Calligaris found that a mental image, the thought-form itself, will cause stimulation within the body…Research has shown that thoughts can be regarded as objects with physical existence. Various Calligaris locations are related with certain organs, and these spots respond and correspond to emotions. So, thoughts can cause emotions and touch organs, which in turn relate to the points on the skin. It Is not the acupuncture system of points.’

Fascinating as all that is, I was led to the comments where I landed on a discussion and link to a video about the torus as ‘a fundamental geometry in all of reality, and very inherently connected to the essence of our existence… [that] connects ideas about nature and energy flow with the infinite nature and the source field of all things.’

Turns out the torus is the shape I have been drawing for some time to describe the nature of our being a point of Oneness without being defined by a single, stagnant ‘self’. Here is a doodle from a notebook in July of this year:

























My explanation is not quite the same as the fundamental geometry concept. I was talking about being a dynamic collection of points (of awareness) between the concentrated centre and the All That Is. It’s as if we are walking around with the illusion of consistency when in reality there is nothing about us that sticks from one moment to the next (except that we continue to go back to points of awareness familiar to us).

These points of awareness are active all the time and give us our sense of what’s going on. If I am ‘channelling’ a message whether it’s from Christ or the tree I have my hands on or the client sitting in my office, I am doing the same thing – reconfiguring my points of awareness.

When I’m making an assessment of HOW to see the world or which story to cling to as my immediate reality, I am simply reconfiguring my points of awareness. I do this all day for my entire life. In each moment I get to choose where my consciousness is located, which points in the torus it is correlated with, or which points of perspective in the All That Is I am tuned to.

The torus is not outside of me or an awareness I need to access. The torus is awareness. If you are tuned to concrete, singular, consistent aspects of self, then you are doing so as a choice in each moment for the torus is always moving! You cannot get stuck in one spot, it’s impossible.

The Thrive Movement

The link about the torus also took me to a movie – Thrive

More than a film about sacred geometry or politics or spirituality, Thrive is an attempt to give you some background on how the world works, some of the major issues, and a lot of the solutions being proposed. Foster Gamble and is wife Kimberly are the main characters/protagonists/champions of the work. A most eloquent and educated pair driven by compassionate reason and thorough investigation.

‘THRIVE is an unconventional documentary that lifts the veil on what’s REALLY going on in our world by following the money upstream — uncovering the global consolidation of power in nearly every aspect of our lives. Weaving together breakthroughs in science, consciousness and activism, THRIVE offers real solutions, empowering us with unprecedented and bold strategies for reclaiming our lives and our future.’

It’s ambitious. I’m impressed at the scale of the project and admire the administrators ability to collate such a diverse array of information in one easy to access space. I’m also hopeful that such an endeavour is the beginning of the end of the problem-solution paradox.

Most notable, for me, was the snippet with Barbara Marx Hubbard toward the end who said that if everyone knew this as ‘our birth, that everyone is needed and everyone will get what they truly want’ then we could enjoy a magical world… because I have often butted heads with the idea that we need to focus on a ‘re-birth’ on a ‘global evolution’ somewhere in the future that denies us the ability to know our purpose and perfection in this moment. But I love that she says ‘everyone is needed’ because I’m assuming that means the oil company directors, the Rockefeller’s, the bank managers, the miners, the dairy industry advocates, the government henchmen responsible for removing free energy prototypes (and their inventors), and all the other people mentioned in the story about world domination.

I’m assuming that because it means that we are starting to see the self-organising system for what it is.

I love that Foster ends with Aikido and the core ethic of focusing on what’s best for the individual (not the group) and I can see where ‘non-violation’ makes sense to him, to everyone who wants to live in a friendly, fearless world… and yet I can also see the how ‘non-violation’ is yet another principle of control. It’s a way to denote what it means to be ‘good’, to belong, to have worth, to be on purpose, when truly we are too perceptually (and culturally) bias to KNOW what it is to follow principles of goodness and worth and anything else that takes us out of being present and into playing by the rules.

Obviously I’m not suggesting we shut it all down and just let people run riot. Who would let that happen anyway? It’s logistically impossible.

What I’m drawing into the discussion is the point that whatever principle or ethic you come up with for people to adhere to, will be variously defined and almost impossible to serve all people at all times. So what do we do with all of our human systems if creating principles is only going to change the problems shape? How about we get rid of the problem altogether?!

The Problem-Solution Paradox

Okay, so denying there is hunger and corruption isn’t going to get us anywhere. That’s not in dispute.

But what if hunger was not your motivator and yet you acted to do something about it? Don’t you think Spirit, or the Inner Drive, your intuitive guidance has a plan for you to do something about all the ‘suffering’ on the planet? Don’t you think your purpose is directly linked to all the other aspects of All That Is in this reality? Why else do you read about global consciousness and the evolution of planetary co-creation?

If your purpose is connected to some aspect of the picture, and your intuitive guidance is the compass, then you don’t need to focus on the problem to find a solution. Most of our greatest inventions and insights are not created out of the desire to solve a problem, they are ‘accidental’ meanderings in the world of curiosity. When you focus on ‘problems’ you do two things, 1) you limit your discoveries to what the problem allows you to conceive of, and 2) you feed energy into the problem itself.

No matter how you go about it, when you produce a solution to a problem you cannot avoid recreating the problem. It’s one of those philosophical paradoxes we need to comprehend if we really want to start living in fusion with the All That Is. The consciousness that created the problem is invested in seeing it as a problem!

So how do you see it outside the problem-solution paradigm and still ‘get things done’?

Living Fusion

You keep doing what you’re doing with a different story.

Instead of individuals being motivated by greed and violence and superiority, you know that even the Rockefeller’s are motivated by the desire to ‘feel loved’. This is more than suggesting that everyone just wants to be loved, I am talking about ‘feeling loved’ as a function of how each one of us has learnt to belong, find worth (purpose), and be safe. These are complex, dynamic concepts that live with us in each moment. They drive our thoughts and behaviours. They manifest in our lives as rules about what makes the world go around. They are the story that give meaning to your ‘facts’.

Most people will stop doing what they’re doing once they know a different story, especially if the current story is making them blind to their worth, purpose, and safety. As an advocate of peace you will know it from the inside out rather than focusing on creating it from the outside in. Your ‘work’ on the planet will not change, only your motivation and the sense of peace you experience changes because it stops being about what’s ‘happening’ around you.

It stops being about what’s happening around you because you know all things as happening for you. That means you go to Guinea and set up sustainable development with an inner peace that is purely focused on your purpose in this moment. It means you volunteer because your intuition tells you to and all the experiences you have while you’re signing up, on the way to work, as you participate, pondering life on the way home, these are all in the moment as a point of Oneness without any other story about who’s wrong and who’s right or who’s doing what to you versus who’s backing you up… because it’s all life happening for you (and there’s no other story).

I know it sounds crazy, but so does any idea until you have an experience of it.

Being a Living Master is not about being Jesus or Buddha or Muhammad or Adamus or any other figure associated with ‘enlightenment’. Being a Living Master is about being YOU on this planet knowing that you are a gift with an important job, no matter what appears to be going on. It’s about surrendering to this moment as a spiritual being having a human experience knowing that we are all doing the best we can with what we have (including the individuals you have made up stories about as asleep or awake or ignorant or evil). It’s about being present to the All That Is as a point of Oneness.

Love and Mung Beans People 🙂

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