I call it Heart Alchemy

I’m not sure what’s kicking for me until it’s already made a mess. That is the way life is for me. And I can’t be the only one who feels before they know; the only one who must trust without proof. Trusting I am made this way for a reason and that whatever I am asked to do is in the here and now.



Yes, it’s important for me to be honest and open. But these are things I have learnt about myself. Through experiments and surprises, what is important has made itself visible.

The truth is not something I came upon easily. It was hidden in plain sight for many years, disguised as self discovery, revealed only in my reluctance to live out loud what it is I do effortlessly – love!

Love, for me, is not about the rules I make for other people. Love, for me, is the things I want for them – which is whatever they want for themselves. After all, it is not for me to say how you might find happiness or even if you should seek it. As a lover, it is my place to simply be. And as I explore that lover’s place, that dancing ribbon of energy forever moving to catch the light, I also see you!

I see what Spirit sees – only that you are perfect in this moment and we are One. I see that you are an equal and essential aspect of All That Is, and this moves me.

What I do not see is how you are flawed. To me these things are a trick of the light. If you could stand here, in Spirit’s space, you would see these flaws and all the things that make you right, wrong or incomplete, you would see these things as part of your perfection. You might even begin to appreciate them as valuable.

Perhaps this kind of whole-hearted self-acceptance seems naive and impractical. Your sensibilities are nurtured by a strict regime of sorting the chaff from the wheat, the positive from the negative, the supportive from the obstructive. And yet love is not subject to these oppositions.

What you think/believe to be helpful, and what love makes possible, are not even in the same reality… which is why they do not speak the same language. It is this language of what love makes possible that I have been asked to speak into reality at this time, and if you would permit me, I would share his living wisdom with you.

I call it Heart Alchemy.

Seek and ye shall find…

Seek and ye shall find…

I did not find what I sought today, I utterly failed in every way.

No money did I make.

No titles did I win.

Just spinning tyres digging me forever further in.

And just when I think ‘all is not lost’,

A speeding ticket, electricity bill, sick child, cheating spouse, infested house, retrenchment, or some such unforeseen cost,

Comes lurching into my life to make me pay attention.

“Get me outta this!” I scream. “I need a little redemption.”

Please, lord/universe/mother-father power,

If you were gonna intervene this would be the hour.

I really need your guidance to get me through this muck.

I’m cursed with this never-ending string of super-bad luck.

It seems no matter where I turn to escape from all this drama,

My life gets worse and worse as if I’m living Hitler’s karma.

I know I should be grateful for all the little things I’ve got.

I know I should see happiness where all I see is rot.

I know I should believe that life is a conversation,

But all I see is what I’m missing in this incarnation.

If you truly wholly loved me for all that I Am,

Wouldn’t you send me flowers, a million dollars and a man?

Wouldn’t you send me opportunities falling from the sky?

Why doesn’t my life look like a fairy tale rom-com? Please just tell me why?

Why do you make me miserable with all these little trials,

And fill me full of hope for heaven on Earth for a while.

Then pound me down with reality – pay your bills or there will be strife!

A constant string of enemies and challenges is not what I call a life!

I’m never really happy. I just tell myself it’s true.

And when I ask you God for guidance, all I get is woo-woo.

People sell me ways to manifest a beautiful, better life,

Which I unwrap and try on again and again, hoping for a better way to survive.

But I’m not coping with the difficulty you think I can overcome.

I’m not seeing a way to be as happy, rich and healthy as everyone.

I know I should be mindful of all the colourful spectrum in each day,

But all I see is Shitsville in its fifty shades of grey.

All I see is earthquakes, babies dying by the pound.

All I see is fracking polluted water pumped up right out of the ground.

All I see is materialism and it’s victims getting in my way.

All I see is obstacles to building a better day.

All I see is enemies of a vision so few of us hold.

A way to live in harmony while the rest of us seek control.

Please tell me what to do lord, and quick because I’m late,

For another day at work lord where I mingle with people I hate.

Where I listen to their problems and shake my head with pure disdain,

If only they knew my story. That would teach them about real pain.

Because only mine is real lord, only mine is pure.

I do everything I’m supposed to and then I do a little more.

I’m dedicated I am, to getting all this right.

To being a Living Master on this planet, in this fight.

I’m dedicated to you lord because I know it’s plain to see,

You want me to be happy and you want me to be free.

Free of all these people making it difficult to enjoy,

Every moment in the glory of whatever experience you employ,

To make my story visible and set my journey straight.

Because we all know it’s a test and you better not be late!

So I’m doing all I can lord and I’m standing in this place,

Helping all the moronic, greedy, no-good human race,

To see their unholy folly and adopt a better way.

I did not find what I sought today, I utterly failed in every way.

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