Who Am I?

Who Am I?

Started reading a book my mother-in-law lent me last night, a book I thought would be yet another example of the old world paradigm I am here to add something to. Then I started to notice that along with the insistence on ‘negative’ and ‘enlightenment’ there was also the message that comes out of me – how is this serving you?

The book is Live Your Divinity by Adamus Saint-Germain channelled through Geoffrey & Linda Hoppe. I’ve not read their stuff before – I tend to do my own ‘channelling’ and get the same message minus the duality – so it’s a whole new world in some ways, except Saint Germain is one of my ‘helpers’. I’m not sure how to explain how I ‘know’ these entities, but I was first associated with him around 2010 even though he has probably been with me for longer because, as you know, I don’t see things in quite the same way as other seers.

Anyway, this is not a pissing contest. I am just building a picture of why this book is significant.

So, I get up this morning, come into the office and ask about who I channel by pulling three cards from Doreen Virtue’s Ascended Master pack plus a base card for an overview of the situation. Here’s what happened:

1) Merlin, Hermes Trismegistus teacher of esoteric wisdom. Merlin helps spiritual teachers and healers focus their energies (it says ‘in beneficial ways’ but we can translate that as ‘from their soul level experience’ for our purposes).

2) Quan Yin Let go of struggle, pushing or forcing things to happen (manifestation and control). Quan Yin goddess of compassion stayed to help all humans ‘become enlightened’ (again, we can translate that as embodying their soul level experience’) Helps with forgiveness, compassion, and to have needs met in gentle and loving ways (which makes my head spin because the whole Perfect Present program is really about understanding your needs are being met and you can navigate those needs/wants in conscious ways once you acknowledge and give thanks for everything turning out the way you alchemised). Plus she answers all prayers. The nature of what I do is deep listening where I decipher what your system has set up and maintained as a means to feeling loved from the human experience so that you can expand your awareness to a soul level with full self-acceptance as a gift who happens to have an important part to play.

3) Avalokitesvara a pathway to peace by considering other people’s points of view. Okay, at this point my mind exploded. So, I have activists in my life who just can’t let go of ‘peace on Earth’ as their prime motivator even when they know Love is the greatest force and they have no control and all they need to do is know they are a gift with a job, blah blah blah. So when I read ‘pathway to peace’ I know two things – a) the Pathfinder of Oneness thing that keeps coming through for me is vital to the b) the essence of peace as being able to understand other people’s motivations (which in the program is all about everyone doing what they can with what they have to feel loved!) But is doesn’t end there. You do not have to agree, you just have to understand their motivations and have compassion for their feelings (that’s two compassions and I know for me the nature of compassion is about focusing on empowering people which can only be done when you’re focused on what they need, on how they learn, and the nature of Divine Timing beyond your ken and control). It goes on, this process can shift the energy of power struggles much like ‘letting go of a rope in tug-of-war’ No enemies, no hierarchy, no polarities, no duality… ‘As you see the other person’s point of view, you open the door for creative solutions’ and even though we don’t believe in ‘solutions’ because that requires us to have ‘problems’ we do understand the nature of creativity as central to the process of finding where you need to stand to see how even this empowers you.

On top of all that Avalokitesvara is the male energy of Quan Yin who also postponed ascension and hears all prayers.

And the base card?

Detach From Drama Pallas Athena, a goddess of wisdom a war goddess who uses wisdom instead of weapons. She helps you find your way out of the story, to view it more as a movie with compassion for everyone involved and faith that their will be a resolution. My job on this planet is tied to this most of all, to helping people remember their soul level experience beyond the drama of human story. An expansion rather than an enlightenment or correction or advanced version of who you are, I can show you how to see and be in the world as your soul knows it.

ID 117881680 © Ekaterina Gerasimova | Dreamstime.com


Stand In It…

Stand In It…

A big steaming pile of it, and tell me you’re a gift. That’s really what it comes down to. Except it’s not that exactly because when you’re in a big steaming pile of anything, that’s the only reality. You’re not thinking about what it’s called or how it looks. The only thing that’s going on is that this – whatever this is – is happening for you.

People look at me sideways and tell me about their greatest difficulty integrating this ‘idea’ and we start working through each ‘objection’ one by one but here is the thing. These are not ideas and you’re not objecting to anything. There’s a part of you getting loud because you know this is true. You know that in the moment, you feel sensations and have a soul level experience. Before and after are where it gets interesting because this is where (not when, the only when is NOW) you step into expectation and judgement e.g. fear of what might happen and assessment of what you experienced.

I woke up thinking about membership sites and how to deliver this course so that Louise and I can teach people this stuff. So we can be with them in a different way. Different to one-on-one sessions so that we can set a sovereign process for people who want to live from this place. And I think that’s what people want who come to us for ‘guidance’ even though we give them something else – a chance to restore their soul level experience.

And then I think about the fact that it takes time. That even though we don’t believe in layers, we do know that integration is more than flicking a switch. Not because it’s a naturally drawn out process. You could remember all of this stuff in a session and be on your way. But because this is an experience, because this is about all of your experiences from now on (whatever the role or expectations or past priorities), the restoration rocks your world.

Even using the word ‘restoration’ isn’t quite it because nothing is peeled back or rubbed off. You are expanding the picture you see, the place you understand what’s going, from ‘Human cause-and-effect’ to include the soul level. So I guess it’s more of a reality expansion.

Which means you don’t learn it then go back to use it to make money or fix problems because your soul level experience is focused on knowing you are a gift (which is a whole package of real things) and doing your job (or having a meaningful purpose or however you need to frame this aspect of being). So, there is nothing else. Everything you are and everything you do, know, feel, love, desire, and become aware of comes back to these two things – I am a gift, and I have a job.

There are lots of ways to do that, come back, and there are any number of stories that help you stay there, but I guess I’m more interested in teaching people how to think rather than what to think. When you think about each situation in these terms then you take out all the judgement (including positive and highest good), the need to control, the journey to somewhere (other than right here), and you keep passion, meaning, sovereignty, purpose, connection, self-awareness, and whatever else you need to be here as a gift, knowing you have a job…

The Message

The Message

“Good morning!” Except there’s no good, so we say Aloha instead. Fabulous 🙂

The sun is still nuzzling in bed so we can start streaming out consciousness before all the bodies, flesh and mind, thoughts unkind, with acts to unwind begin telling stories of dread. A space to thrill, satisfactions’ still and demanding pouting pose. From here to there with style and flare the master orders “Action!” With a crack of the whip and Tequila sip her image, belief and reaction determine the path of the energy bath we live in but see somehow separate. So I do what I’m told neither humble nor bold each moment in light of the present that gives me a thrill through parcel or bill, regardless I see the reflection of a message so grand it shines like a band of gold from a plane where love is the land, the lore, the plan, the reason, the end, and inflection of a language (un)bound by concepts unsound on a planet restoring its song. Blessed be one. Daughters and sons, gifts of the ‘now’ you belong…

And I ponder the Perfect Present program we spent most of yesterday writing an invitation to attend for. I breathe deep sigh-full questions for clarity around where to push, what to ‘teach’, and what to surrender. For me, it is a simple matter of doing what I have always done. To show somebody else how to find their way, how to be effortless, has been a one-on-one natural part of my life. And now, as I am asked to step onto a ‘stage’ of sorts, I find myself the reluctant and irreverent instrument of a new song (I was going to say ‘messiah’ but it’s not about saving anyone, it’s about bringing in information). There are so many people who would love to be in this position, who would relish in the potential glory. But I am not one of them.

“Please don’t make me the leader!” I hear myself say, and know instantly this is the truth knocking loudly on my door. I know instantly because the reaction itself tells me to listen. So, I listen. And when I leave a gap, the message is clear that I am exactly where I need to be, that I am the messenger, and this is what I am here to do. This is my job. Another sigh-full question for clarity around how to navigate delivering a message without ‘telling’ people what to do, without becoming yet another prescription. Another answer. Stay in your heart space. Stay in that energy of truth and you will always be doing what you need to be doing. Come back to that frequency expansive, whenever things become clouded and you will embody the reassurance you need to be in this moment regardless of the circumstance. So, I leave a gap and surrender (because I can do nothing else).

I surrender because I know the wisdom of these insights are greater than my pleas for comfort or logic or control. I surrender as the Pathfinder of Oneness who has a job in this moment (to surrender) and then stay ‘here’ to do my job – because my job is not a potential future tied to some notion of what a messenger will be doing or might encounter, my job is to be here surrendering to the truth that ‘I am a messenger’ and this is exactly where I need to be. My job is not to hold a vision of my ‘impact’, or to ponder the journey ahead, or to assess the value of what I might or might not do. My job is to be here in my truth, surrendering to this moment.

It’s still dark. Their is a sense that life is warming up again, that soon children will stir from their slumber dizzy from magical dreamscapes. The first car. No birds as yet. Just inky black winter still, beginning to thin and finally burst into the next fractal of existence. Glorious awareness expanding and contracting and contorting as the energy builds, and I tap into a busy ocean of life. Then I become the energetic embodiment of an incessantly moving mother with hands forever wiping noses, packing lunches, putting things back into place. Without ever having been a parent it seems I play that role for all the children on the planet, in the soul level playground – and we are all children of the universe (no matter how old).

Love & Mung Beans people 🙂

Tribal Law

Tribal Law

Last night I had a dreamscape in which a family moved to a small concrete village paradise with families they did not know but were connected to by clan. I was a ring-in, so to speak. Adopted and more than welcome, I would shift form from me, as you know now, to a small female islander child. I remember standing on the steps looking down over the flooded courtyard up to my knees, holding on with my left hand closing my eyes and spinning slowly to my left in circles, singing.

There were other dreamscapes about family too. Drunken philanderous father in a multilevel club with accommodation on-site. His new wife was unhappy but turned a blind eye to his flirtatious behaviour. I was an adult child and yet still so close that I stayed with them sometimes. The room was cluttered, split level, and dingy.

I think I was studying – in both dreams. In the first I was at school as a young person, and in the second at school as an older person (somehow not subject to the same age restrictions as other people). When each person represents me in some way, I listen to messages about drunken parents and tribal law. Who knows where this will take me?

My first instinct is to say that detox is required, that coffee and sugar are intoxicating my body as my spiritual creative aspect sits by sombre and powerless to change his ways. I just had a flash of the third dreamscape in a supermarket – desire! I remember light blue writing and something in a specials bin my partner couldn’t see the benefit of buying, so I had to decide if I wanted it enough to get it just for me. Oooh!

Fabulous. I do love these adventures between the sheets.



Teach is not the word. It’s something else. I keep thinking about Richard Bach and the way I absorbed what he had to say without truly conceptualising anything (because I live it). And when friends ask me about ‘my story,’ just how frustrated I get (because there is no story).

I’m thinking about how generous those closest to me are with their time, honesty and joy. I’m thinking about the fact that being a Living Master is not about feeling separate and outside of the world, but instead part of all that is. I know that’s a difficult concept to understand and I want to be able to tell you how to experience it for yourself. And yet if I say “do this to know that”, we have lost the point.

You be. That’s it.

There is a way to ‘be’ on an event basis that can bring you into the heart of experience. A way to know yourself as a gift and feel into your job (or purpose) on the planet or in the universe (and multiverse) that asks you to accept you have everything you need. It asks that you see you already get what you want, and this is what makes you sovereign. It asks that you love your job – which is whatever you are ‘told’ to do in each moment that explains your ‘impact’ on the world* – by seeing where it serves you.

I cannot express the fact that there can be no give and take in a sense of the world as one big swirling mass of energy because it it the same long single note you try to understand as separate performances that make life so unfair and confusing. And yet I know that you are always where you need to be doing the best you can with what you have, so when you ask me to show you or ‘help’ you, I take you on a magical mystery tour of how it works for you.

Once I am out there writing and labelling myself as something – Living Master, teacher, knower of things – I step into a new configuration of self that not only requires me to stand in my truth, but asks me to honour my gift. My voice grows louder and more confident as the instructions quiet. There is a particular pounding in my ears I get that asks me to sing because it is the most direct way for me to alchemise. Making noise and taking up space have been the human ‘journey’ for me.

Let me explain, mostly to myself, again, what it means to be born full soul and body. All the abilities, assurances, guidance, direction, knowing, trust, listening, and feeling that you learn as ‘spiritual practice,’ I was born with and allowed as my way of being. Integrating that into a human experience without any conceptual reference or ‘physical’ world [reflection? reinforcement? no that’s not the word… it’s more like harmony] resonant understanding, is my life.

When I say “I can teach you” I mean I live the resonant understanding (that’s my credentials I guess) and when we are ‘talking’ (the conversation is not about words) I can say what you need to hear that makes sense of your experience as [I was going to say ‘holy’] expansive: as both destined and present. Now that I am ‘teaching’ in books and online courses, I am relying on the muses that I encounter everyday (just as you do) to ‘help’ me develop the products.

I could start the conversation through any door and end up in the same place – my message. That means you can be a surgeon with particular ideas and experiences looking for a way to ‘balance’ work-life, and we would start through that door but follow the trail through the same labyrinth until we unravelled all the string between where you are (how you see the world, what questions you ask, what you seek, the nature of your self-assessment, etcetera) and the place where everything makes sense to you – because you remember you are both sovereign and one with the Infinite (however you understand that).

So, what does tho have to do with teaching?

In essence, I do not teach you anything. I do not help or awaken or shift or clear or change anything really because you are a sovereign being experiencing oneness in all of its configurations. You learn as you teach and teach as you learn, so I know there is a word that explains to people who read the book just what it is that I do, but it hasn’t come in yet. So I write. And you read. And together we stand in this space, pondering the sensations of this moment as an invitation to know we are a gift (with a job) and the opportunity to string out our lives like so many postcards.

Appreciate. [Isn’t that what an investment does?] To recognise the full worth of, to be grateful for; to understand (a situation) fully; to rise in value or price. I’m going to have to get clever (wordsmithy, action stations!) with that last part, but ‘appreciate’ is great…

Fascination is closer [I almost wrote ‘better’, I wouldn’t have heard the end of it]. Embodiment and deep listening are the conceptual equivalent, but they take a shared understanding to fully appreciate…

*All this terminology is so inaccurate because there is no cause and effect, and the whatever comes out of my mouth is for me, and vice versa. Maybe that’s why never hear other people, we simply interpret. Cognitive and perceptual biases are so fascinating!

ID 127103250 © Ekaterina Gerasimova | Dreamstime.com


Pin It on Pinterest